It’s a powerful question. But what comes next is even more revealing.

 

In the world of personal development, there’s a simple technique from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) that helps people get to the heart of their true motivations. It starts with a basic question:

“What would you like?”

You might answer with something like, “I want a new job,” or “I want to find a relationship,” or “I want to feel less stressed.” These are all great starting points.

 

But then comes the magic question, the one that begins the real discovery:

“What will having that do for you?”

This question isn’t about the thing itself. It’s about the feeling or the experience you believe that thing will give you. And the most powerful way to use this is to ask it again… and again.

 

Let’s try it with an example. Imagine someone says they want a new car.

Question 1: “What would you like?”

Answer: “I want to buy a new sports car.”

Question 2: “What will having that car do for you?”

Answer: “It will make me feel successful and impress people.”

Question 3: “And what will feeling successful and impressing people do for you?”

Answer: “It will make me feel respected and acknowledged.”

Question 4: “And what will feeling respected and acknowledged do for you?”

Answer: “It will make me feel like I belong and that I’m significant.”

Do you see what happened? We went from a specific object (a car) to a deep, core human need: a feeling of significance and belonging. 

 

This is why this simple line of questioning is so important. It reveals the true destination behind our initial strategy.

 

We often get fixated on one single path to get what we want. We think, “If I just have that car, that job, that relationship, then I’ll be happy.” But that’s just one strategy.

 

When you discover that your true goal is a feeling—like security, freedom, connection, or significance—a wonderful thing happens: your world of possibilities expands.

 

If the core need is “significance,” maybe you can also get that from:

• Excelling at a hobby you love.

• Being a great mentor to someone.

• Contributing to your community.

• Deepening your relationships.

 

The car might still be a nice goal, but it’s no longer the only way to feel how you want to feel. This understanding brings freedom. It prevents us from chasing things that might not actually give us the feeling we’re looking for. It helps us choose paths that are truly aligned with our deepest values.

It’s a gentle, respectful way to honor your first goal while kindly exploring what truly matters to you.

 

Tip: The way you ask the question matters. Try subtly emphasizing different words in the question, “What will having that do for you?” and observe if it guides the your thinking in a new direction.

“What will HAVING that do for you?” (Emphasizes the state of possession)

“What will having THAT do for you?” (Focuses on the specific object/result)

“What will having that DO for you?” (The most common emphasis, focuses on the change or action)

“What will having that do for YOU?” (Forces a personal, internal evaluation)

Each variation can slightly shift the your focus and potentially uncover a different layer of your motivation. This simple technique makes you more effective and intuitive in your discovery process.